I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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