May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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