Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
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