Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize