just come out here and I will go home with you...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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