hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
