im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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