yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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