my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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