You made me cry and you don't even care
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
