I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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