I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
