He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Can Purell be used as lube?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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