We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
you inspire me to be a worse person
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
