You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
