i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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