Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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