At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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