I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
