I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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