my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize