i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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