Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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