i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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