eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
