Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
