Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
