the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
