Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
