He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
we should paint friendship bongs
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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