I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
