remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
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Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
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The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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