Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
