I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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