i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
