If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
