Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
