Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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