I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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