I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
