shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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