She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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