no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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