I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So vagazzling was a success
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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