I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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