I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
