Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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