New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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