idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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