do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
