I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
