she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
