I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
