Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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