I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
