I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
