My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
a search helicopter?!
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize