I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Your cock deserves a montage
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
