I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize