Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
