did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
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I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
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I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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