Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
