I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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