i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
