Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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