She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
