We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
